Shhhh the baby can here you...

Why is telling pregnant women gory horror labour/birth/breastfeeding stories a national pastime? I am so sick and freakin tired of hearing about everybody's sister, mother, grandmother, aunt's c-section, episiotomy back labour, bleeding nipples, etc!! The next time it happens, I'm just gonna put my fingers in my ears and sing la la la la la la la until they walk away. During the first few months I would just smile and nod and shake my head. Now, many months later I'll blame it on the hormones and just say, "Only positive birth stories, please. The baby is listening". Some will stop and laugh, yet others will continue, assuring me that theirs was a special case and that it will be different for me. Yes, of course it will be different for me. I'm not you. I'm not them. I'm me. Through all of that crap I've only heard one positive story (and I think she was lying). She told me that for each of her three daughters, she only laboured for one hour. Is that even possible? Regardless, it was a nice change from all of the other nasty tales. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy hearing the odd birth story every now and then. Some days I'm really curious, some days not so much. And of course I realize that sometimes complications can't be helped. Fine. But why is it that people need to share such negative information? Could it be that they feel robbed that they weren't given the chance to experience a wonderful labour/birth? Do they feel that they failed somehow because once they got to the hospital their labour could not progress? Or maybe they get some sort of sicko pleasure out of watching pregnant woman squirm? Weren't women built to do this? We wouldn't all be here otherwise right? Yes, it's scary, yes it's painful, bla bla bla. I just don't want to hear it anymore....

So I've stopped listening. I will educate myself as much as possible, whether it be through my doula, my yoga teacher, my books, my positive-thinking supportive friends, my own intuition. I realize that things don't always go as planned, but I can keep an open mind, I can indulge in positive thoughts and wishes, I can empty my mind of expectations and fill it with empowering possibilities.

And I can always throw on a pair of headphones and maybe one of these t-shirts: